The Class Where I Was Humbled Beyond Recognition

interesting fact: The temperature range most favorable for rapid growth of pathogens, known as the danger zone, is 40- 140 degrees Fahrenheit. Keep your cold food cold and your hot food hot if you want to avoid food poisoning.

So I missed reporting on two lessons, or rather I decided to not bore you with the hours I had on sanitation and calculating edible portion cost or regale you with details of olive tasting that I couldn't participate in as I am allergic. Hence I move on to last night's 4 hours of knife skills.

We began with a small lecture on the parts of a knife, how to properly handle, clean and sharpen a knife, and the difference between carbon, steel and carbon-steel blades. And then we took out our knives.

It was see one, do one for the rest of the night.

Chef chopped an onion, I attempted to chop an onion.
Chef minced a shallot, I attempted to mince a shallot.
Chef julienned a carrot (1/8 x 1/8 x 1-2”), I cut strips that were uneven and pathetic.
Chef battoneted the carrot (¼x ¼ x 2-2 ½”), my strips were larger and equally as pathetic as my attempted julienne.
Chef then brunoised her julienned carrots (1/8 x 1/8 x 1/8”), I came close to a brunoise, although mine were more rhombus like than her perfect cubes.
Chef then diced her battoneted carrot (1/4 x 1/4 x 1/4"), see above to get an idea of what my "dice" looked like.
Chef chifonnaded some spinach, I took the spinach and made it look like it went through a document shredder.
Chef paysanned a potato( ½ x ½ x 1/8”), she made these perfect little scrabble tiles that were just missing the engraved letter. I attempted the paysanne and actually did something right although my tiles were a little large.

And then came the tournee. Chef used a tournee knife, made a perfect potato football. Chef took a paring knife and made a perfect potato football. Mine looked more like a tornado than a tournee.

I've chopped things before, I know that I've used my knives half decently in the past, but put me in a room with 12 other people some of whom actually have knife skills, a chef who's been in a kitchen for 30 years and all of a sudden I'm terrified to hold a knife. Also, I'm apparently dyslexic because I couldn't seem to transfer her right handed knife technique to my left handed klutziness. It was terrible. All I wanted to do when I got home at 11:15 last night was practice because I was so pathetic.

I suggest you all come over on Sunday because I'm going to go after a 50lb. bag of potatoes and that'll make a whole lot of potato chips, french fries and mashed potatoes.

Tonight, more knife practice and shellfish identification.